“KnowComplaints”
is a movement I started a few years ago to help others achieve spiritual
maturity by freeing themselves from the “complaining, critical and condemning
mind”. It is a supportive way of shining a flashlight on our shadow side (or negative
ego).
The goal of KnowComplaints is liberation, or
awakening, which manifests as the ability to be with all of the aspects of
negative ego, like fear, hopelessness, doubt, anxiety, impatience, anger,
bitchiness, blame, and victimhood without judgment. By doing this, we gain
unobstructed access to our authentic nature.
The primary support
tool for this journey is a form of Vipassana, or Insight, Meditation. I’ve practiced this for 25 years
and taught it for 20. This style comes out of Buddhist philosophy, yet is a
non-religious practice using the breath to anchor us in our true nature and the
witness aspect of ourselves. By practicing this mindfulness meditation, we
develop the awareness to manage the shadow’s negative drama while developing
the strength of will to act out of our highest potential. I’ve attached
specific information about the meditation practice.
The meditation
practice develops clarity and wisdom, metabolizes and releases emotions,
strengthens the witness, cultivates equanimity (or non-resistance), develops
presence, gives us the ability to re-direct our attention, creates conscious
hesitation, and allows us to respond skillfully to our inner stories and
opinions.
This meditation
develops a mindful witness than can successfully navigate the ego’s programs
that keep us in suffering. We can learn to transcend our misguided negative
feelings and act lovingly with compassion towards ourselves and others. With
time, we develop the ability to act skillfully with love in every moment no
matter what conflicting ego-driven feelings or ideas we are experiencing.
Through this
meditation practice we also cultivate equanimity, which is the backbone and
strength of taking spiritual action. I also teach concentration and awareness
practices, gratitude practice, generosity practice, and many other intentional
practices designed to disengage the negative ego or shadow. “Shadow” is the
term I use interchangeably with “negative ego” or “critical, condemning, and
complaining mind.”
Ultimately we
strive to create a way of being that is mindful, awake, compassionate, present
and free to choose from our wisdom, regardless of whatever negative thoughts or feelinbgs are in the way. We can
possess the clarity and strength to respond spiritually to our shadow's reactions, and develop enough equanimity to put this strategy into practice. Equanimity is essentially the ability to maintain strength, wisdom and composure, while applying radical-acceptance, non-resistance, and allowing to any physical or emotional discomfort.)
Here is the basic
idea behind the strategy of KnowComplaints:
1 1. Admit there is a voice in your head
that talks to you.
2. Open to the idea that the negative, critical voice in your head
is not your true self, even though
it might sound like you.
3. Realize you are the witness to your
thoughts and feelings, and learn to respond to them instead of being controlled
by them.
4. Stop automatically believing your
thoughts or feelings, and doubt them before you act on them.
5. Take the KnowComplaints oath and
make your life a practice in dis-believing your shadow and re-claiming your
faith!
The Oath: " I_________, promise to never, ever, ever,
complain, criticize or condemn anyone or anything ever, ever, again, and that
includes myself."
This oath is our
divine intention, creating endless opportunities to practice self-love and
compassion every time we miss the mark.
The
KnowComplaints Creed.
I can now see my shadow, and I know that my negativity
arises from the unconscious parts of me that have yet to be awakened. I see the
negative judgments, complaints, comparisons and criticisms of my ego, and
because I see them I am free. I see how I am victimized by my negative ego and
I know my complaining mind creates my suffering. I choose to live in faith, and
let go of the resistance and objections to what is happening. I choose to rise
above my opinions and my need to make life wrong. I don’t need to punish what I
don’t like or don’t want, and I accept my life circumstances even if I don’t
like them or approve of them.
Nothing in my life needs to be perceived as a negative
experience. Discomfort does not always mean something is wrong and mistakes do
not exist in the eyes of the divine. I do not have to believe my negative
reactions of fear, hurt, anger or aggression, and I do not have to believe my
negative inner voice even though it sounds like me. I recognize negativity as a
mis-perception of my ego, and I replace my view with the divine truth of loving
kindness and compassion.
My spiritual witness is my guide. I choose to
consciously hesitate before I act on my feelings. I need to doubt them until I
know why they are there. It makes sense to question what I think, challenge my
stories, and find the difference between what is true and what I imagine. I no
longer believe my assumptions and I can recognize when I am making them.
The timing of everything in my life has unknown meaning.
There is bigger unfolding and I am part of a divine orchestration. I am
connected with everyone and what happens is not just about me. It doesn’t make
sense to take life or the actions of others personally. I allow and trust
spirit’s process and I let go of my complaints or criticisms. My complaining is
an addiction and when I complain I create a complaining future. When I complain
I am not living in faith and trust. I let go of my negative opinions and I no
longer need to judge the world as right and wrong. No one needs to be punished or
blamed. We are all victims to our unconsciousness and I choose to heal life instead
of condemn it.
I gratefully see my life as always " good enough". I live in constant apprecitaion and I am content with the gifts of this present moment. I have a
healthy relationship with my wanting, and I remain content and satisfied even when my preferences are not met. I choose to have peace
with life and faith in the unknown. I give life the benefit of the doubt and I
trust the process of my awakening. I now have peace with my complaining,
critical and condemning mind and I rest in the truth of my authentic nature and
potential.
Bryan’s Starter
Meditation Instructions… all you need to know to begin.
· 10 to 20 minutes every day is
preferable. Only commit to a reasonable attempt.
· Any comfortable position that keeps
you upright and alert is fine.
· Close your eyes and rest your
tongue on the back of your front teeth.
· Rest your hands on your thighs.
· Rest your “attention” on your
breathing. Become familiar with the feelings of the breath, as you breathe in
and out.
· Breathe through your nose if
possible with your mouth closed.
Sit down and
relax. Find your
breath. Stay with it until you are distracted. Label your distractions as thinking. Say “Yes” to them.
And then bring yourself back to
your breath and start again.
The main point of
the practice is to keep returning your attention "to the sensation of your
breath" as you inhale and exhale without trying to control it. Every time
you let go of your thinking and return to the breath, you are breaking free.
We return to the breath every time we leave a story or inner thought. This will happen 100’s of times. Do not expect yourself to stay focused on your breath or to be able to get rid of your thoughts. Clearing your mind can happen but it is not the intent of the practice. Developing spiritual strength, discipline and awareness is the goal.
Caution: Paying
attention the content of your thoughts or feelings is just spacing out. This
practice is about developing mental discipline. Notice your stories and inner
conversations as “thinking”, let them go, and return to your breath.
